How TPMs Lose Trust: 7 Mistakes to Avoid

As a Technical Program Manager (TPM), trust is your most valuable currency. It enables you to influence without authority, align diverse teams, and drive successful outcomes. But trust isn’t given—it’s earned. And unfortunately, it can be lost far more quickly than it is built.

In this article, we’ll explore the most common ways TPMs lose trust and provide actionable strategies to avoid these pitfalls. With real-world examples and practical insights, this guide will help you maintain the trust you’ve worked so hard to establish.

7 TPM Trust Killers:

1. Misrepresenting Reality

Trust Killer: Misleading stakeholders by sharing inaccurate or exaggerated information.
Why It Happens: TPMs may fear looking bad or facing difficult questions from stakeholders, leading them to downplay risks or inflate progress.

Example: A program is behind schedule, yet the TPM reports everything is “on track.” A leader might even ask if it’s a “watermelon status” (green on the outside, red on the inside), only to later discover hidden issues. This erodes confidence not only in the TPM but in the entire program.

As a TPM, you’re often the voice of teams and projects in critical discussions. Representing the truth—no matter how inconvenient—is essential. Misrepresenting status or sugarcoating risks may seem like a quick fix but will backfire when the truth inevitably comes out.

Actionable Tips:

Always share accurate updates, even when the news is bad.
Frame challenges constructively by focusing on solutions: “We’re facing a delay due to X, but here’s our mitigation plan.”
Develop a culture of transparency within your teams to ensure consistent and truthful reporting.

2. Overpromising and Under Delivering

Trust Killer: Setting unrealistic expectations and repeatedly failing to meet them.

Why It Happens: A desire to please stakeholders or pressure to deliver quickly can lead TPMs to make commitments they know aren’t achievable.

Example: A TPM promises a feature launch by a specific date without accounting for known risks, only to miss the deadline. Stakeholders and teams feel frustrated and blindsided.

Stakeholders rely on TPMs to make achievable commitments. Consistently falling short—whether on deadlines, features, or budgets—creates a reputation for unreliability.

Actionable Tips:

Underpromise and overdeliver: Build in buffers for unforeseen risks.
Communicate potential risks upfront, and set realistic expectations.
Use data from past projects to improve forecasting accuracy.

3. Communication Breakdowns

Trust Killer: Failing to communicate clearly, honestly, or proactively.

Why It Happens: TPMs might avoid tough conversations about risks or issues, hoping they can resolve problems before stakeholders notice—an approach that often backfires.

Example: A significant project risk arises, but the TPM delays sharing the news until a stakeholder stumbles upon it themselves. This not only damages trust but also creates unnecessary chaos.

Poor communication leads to confusion, misalignment, and frustration among stakeholders. Whether it’s withholding critical information or delivering vague updates, ineffective communication can unravel trust quickly.

Actionable Tips:

Provide regular updates through the preferred channels of your stakeholders.
Be transparent about risks and issues as soon as you have a mitigation plan.
Always include the “what,” “why,” and “next steps” in your communications to ensure clarity.

4. Failing to Manage Expectations

Trust Killer: Sporadic updates and unclear messaging that leave stakeholders guessing.

Why It Happens: TPMs who are overwhelmed or unsure of program details may struggle to provide consistent and comprehensive updates.

Example: A TPM shares unclear updates about a delayed milestone without explaining the reasons or mitigation strategies. Stakeholders are left confused and frustrated.

Setting clear expectations and following through is a hallmark of an effective TPM. When stakeholders feel uncertain about program progress, it breeds mistrust and misalignment.

Actionable Tips:

Set expectations early: Outline program goals, potential risks, and decision points.
Share updates consistently and predictably, even if there’s no major change.
Solicit feedback to ensure your updates are meeting stakeholder needs.

5. Delivering Poor-Quality Products

Trust Killer: Overseeing the delivery of subpar work.

Why It Happens: A lack of ownership, fear of pushing back on unrealistic timelines, or insufficient involvement in quality checks can lead to compromised deliverables.

Example: A program is rushed to completion, resulting in a product riddled with bugs. Stakeholders question the TPM’s judgment and capability.

As a TPM, quality is a reflection of your leadership and ownership. Delivering a product that doesn’t meet standards damages both your credibility and the confidence stakeholders have in the program.

Actionable Tips:

Prioritize quality by working closely with engineering teams to set clear quality standards.
Push back on unrealistic timelines that might compromise quality.
Establish regular quality checkpoints throughout the program.

6. Ignoring Team Input and Feedback

Trust Killer: Failing to listen to or act on feedback from your team.

Why It Happens: TPMs might dismiss feedback due to overconfidence in their own judgment or a reluctance to admit gaps in their understanding.

Example: An engineer raises a potential risk during a meeting, but the TPM brushes it off. When the issue materializes later, it’s clear the TPM didn’t value team input.

Your team is your greatest asset. Ignoring their concerns or dismissing their input creates disconnection and erodes trust—not just with the team, but with stakeholders who rely on their expertise.

Actionable Tips:

Foster a culture of open communication where team members feel safe sharing concerns.
Evaluate all feedback thoughtfully and act on it when appropriate.
Acknowledge team contributions to build mutual trust and respect.

7. Inability to Adapt and Learn

Trust Killer: Repeating mistakes and failing to grow from past experiences.

Why It Happens: TPMs may resist change due to fear of failure, a fixed mindset, or an unwillingness to acknowledge past mistakes and adjust their approach.

Example: A TPM repeatedly misses deadlines due to the same poor risk assessment practices. Stakeholders lose faith in their ability to improve.

Programs rarely go perfectly. TPMs who can’t adapt to new challenges or learn from missteps risk losing the confidence of both their teams and stakeholders.

Actionable Tips:

Conduct retrospectives after every program to identify lessons learned.
Seek feedback from peers, teams, and stakeholders to improve continuously.
Embrace change with a growth mindset, and model adaptability for your teams.

Conclusion: Earning Trust Every Day

Trust is the foundation of your success as a TPM. While earning it takes time and consistent effort, losing it can happen in an instant. By being truthful, realistic, communicative, and adaptable, you can foster trust with your teams and stakeholders and build a reputation as a reliable leader. Adding this layer of understanding not only identifies the missteps but also helps TPMs reflect on the underlying behaviors that prompt these actions, enabling them to address the root causes and foster trust more effectively.

Remember: Trust is not a one-time achievement—it’s a daily practice. Say what you’ll do, do what you say, and hold yourself to the highest standards. This will not only simplify your path as a TPM but also ensure your long-term impact and success.